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Lies I told as a kids.. and other stuff

Growing up, my mom kept all the candy in the house in a box with a lock on it in the living room. It was always filled with the BEST candy. My dad would go to Canada and bring home Livewires, Smarties suckers and everything else that was good. It wasn't like a shoe box, but a small.. trunk-like box. Looking back, it's like my mom put it in the living room just to mock us. You could lift the lid a little more than an inch before the lock stoped it from opening more. You better believe that I tried everything to get in that box. But because of my fat arms, every once in a while, I could only feel the top of the bags with my fingers giving me false hope that I could get anything out of there.


And then that miraculous day came (and they say dreams don't come true). I decided to tip the box over while the lid was cracked open to see if any candy would spill out.. and it did. I imagined basking in all the delicious candy that would spill out *que slow slow motion throwing candy in the air and spinning in a candy store* but, the only thing that would spill out was bubble gum. Like the original bubble gum. And lots of it. Two handfuls to be exact. Even though I hated original bubble gum, this was the best day ever. I STOLE candy!! WOOP WOOP!! I finally got something out of that box! I then brought ALL the bubble gum out to the playhouse and shoved every piece into my mouth. EVERY. PIECE. No joke. My brother Wylon came outside and as I was mid chewing 10+ pieces of gum, asked me where I got the gum from. And I said I got it from the neighbor. Needless to say, he told on me (eye roll) and I got in trouble. This was the first lie I remember telling as I was a kid.


When I was 9 years old, my friend Alina moved to Arizona from Washington in February (I think). A few months later, that summer, she came back to Washington to visit. Keep that in mind.. it was only a few months later. Not like a year or 4.. just a few months. We were swinging in the hammock at my mom and dads and Alina was telling me about her new life in Arizona. She was telling me all these things about her friends, her house and she then tells me about her braces. After she moved to Arizona, she got braces. If you knew me when I was younger, you knew that all I ever wanted was glasses and braces and now she had both! My face was probably literally green with envy. She was telling me all about her braces and so when she was done, I told her that I also got braces.. BUT I already got them off. (like why??) I can tell right away that she doesn't believe me for one second no matter what I say to convince her. So then I say ohh... I mean I got a retainer because my teeth weren't that crooked... she still doesn't believe me. CRAP. So then I lamely say... "Ohhhhhhh.. I got mixed up. I was confused because my brother Brandon actually had braces.. not me." Like how does that not confuse anyone?? I remember the first time, years later, her bringing it up and I still felt so dumb for lying about that but now, I laugh every time I think about it. Like why? Why did I always feel like I had to lie about the dumbest things? It's honestly one of my lowest moments in life, still to this day! HAHA!


I lied. I lied about everything growing up. From telling someone at school (where I had 500 siblings going to school too) that I was an only child. I must have been dreaming about being an only chid and thought if I told everyone I was, it would come true. To telling my friend Taryn that my farts smell like peaches and roses (to this day I still believe that I was joking about that.. she claims I was 100% serious and from my track record, maybe I really did mean it...)


I'm not going to lie (ha) but still find myself lying every once in a while. It's rare, but it happens. When I do, I feel regret as the words are coming out and my only thought is wow, Chelsea. You're a pathological liar. I hate lying so much so why is it sometimes my immediate reaction to lie? It's 99% of the time never to people I know and it doesn't matter to the person on the airplane if I lie, but I then why do I think about the lie I told to that person for days after? I recently read an article about why people lie and one of the ending thoughts from the person was this, "when you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past. When you lie, it becomes part of your future."


Lots of love,

Chelsea


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© 2019 by Chelsea Simonson